


Make me forget there’s a world beyond these walls

by Dont_Tell_My_Mom (orphan_account)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Job, Established Relationship, Gon is a service top, Handcuffs, Having rough sex instead of talking about your feelings, Hickies, Horny Killua, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Needy Killua, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn with Feelings, Prostate Massage, Sensory Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27501913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Dont_Tell_My_Mom
Summary: Killua’s heart seized. He leaned down and pressed their lips together in a short, chaste, kiss.“I love you.” He murmured against his boyfriend’s soft lips “But right now I really need you to fuck my brains out.”
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 12
Kudos: 260





	1. Chapter 1

Killua was enshrouded by darkness. He had been for some time now, in fact. It rolled off of him in hungry waves as his eyes scanned the apartment for the one person that would relieve it. He found the living room full of messy clutter, the plants freshly watered, and the bed perpetually unmade. But not the caramel skin and amber eyes he’d been hoping for.

_This is bad_. Killua thought to himself. He’d been traveling for almost a full day now thinking only of getting home and seeing him as quickly as possible. 

Against his will, three faces sprang to mind. Laughing and smoking their foul-smelling cigars. Killua clenched his fist at the memory. Those bastards. 

He was contemplating using Speed of Lightning to search the city when the door suddenly creaked open. Killua’s head snapped around just in time to see a familiar head of spikey hair and muscular frame enter his home. Their home. 

The effect was immediate, even before he looked up and noticed him, he felt his heart seize. Even before his eyes widened with excitement and a wide, blinding smile let up his face, he felt a comforting warmth flood him. Even before he dashed forward and encircled him in his strong arms, he felt the dark clouds parting.

“Killua!” Gon cried joyfully, squeezing his boyfriend in a tight bear hug that threatened to lift him off his feet “You’re home early!”

It took Killua a moment to respond. He’d been so desperate to get back to this for so long now, it had consumed his thoughts. That suddenly having Gon not only in front of him but surrounding him, his arms, his warmth, his smell, his light. It was a little overwhelming. Slowly he brought his arms up around his boyfriend’s back and returned the embrace, his fists knotting in the soft cotton of his shirt. He tucked his face into the folds of the taller man’s broad chest and inhaled deeply. He felt more than saw Gon’s smile widen just a bit more. His usual response to Gon’s hugs was to kick and squirm his way out of them like an angry cat, not return them and lean into the embrace. Killua felt a weight settle in his chest at the thought. 

“Yeah.” He managed eventually “The target was easier to capture than I’d expected. I told you they were a bunch of small-fry.” 

“You should’ve told me you were coming home. I would’ve picked you up.” Gon said, Killua could feel the vibration of every word move through his chest

“Mmm. I wanted to surprise you.” 

Gon chuckled “Well you did. This is a great surprise, babe.” He tightened his grip a little bit more and Killua felt like he could melt into his touch forever. 

A moment or so passed with the two of them just standing there, happily in each other arms, before Gon spoke up again “Killua… is everything okay?” 

It was an innocent enough question but it immediately brought back memories that proved everything was not okay. Their laughter echoed in his head. 

_“Man, imagine how sweet his ass must be to give all that up.”_

_“I don’t care if he makes mountains crumble when he cums, no boy toy is worth that.”_

He felt darkness pooling in his stomach again.

“Everything’s fine.” Killua lied, lifting his head up from Gon’s warm shoulder and flashing him what he hoped was a convincing smile “I just really missed you.” That part, at least, was true.

Gon’s expression brightened “I missed you t—mph!”

Killua was kissing him, rough and needy and sloppy. Gon was frozen for about half a second before he sighed into his boyfriend’s mouth and began returning the movement in earnest. He tangled his fingers up in the younger man’s soft, white hair, angling his head to give him the best angle and their tongues slid against each other battling for dominance. 

Gon gasped as he felt himself backed against the wall. A sound that his lover happily swallowed. His hands became planted on either side of Gon’s spiky head, entrapping him. When he pulled away finally he allowed himself a cocky smirk at the wonderful sight of Gon with stars in his eyes. He was looking at Killua like he was something precious and extraordinary and it was perfect fuel for the fire already raging in his stomach. 

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” Killua whispered in a low, husky voice before moving in and sealing their lips together again before Gon had the chance to respond. 

Gon’s shirt was the first thing to go and Killua took full advantage of the newly exposed skin. He nipped and nibbles at Gon’s shoulder and up to his ear as his hands traced every dip and crevice of muscle he could find, pinching and squeezing while he went. Gon’s eyes were closed in bliss as small, needy noises tumbled from his lips without shame. His fingers snakes under Killua’s shirt and raked his fingernails up and down his back in a way that was sure to mark his pale skin. 

“Killua…” Gon moaned in content 

“Gon.” Killua affirmed. Choosing that moment to yank roughly on his nipple and clamping their mouths together when he gasped.

In retaliation, the older man slid his hands down Killua’s back and helped himself to two generous handfuls of plump ass, squeezing them tightly at the same time he used them to yank his lover’s hips flush against his own. His peaking arousal poking obviously against his own. 

Killua groaned deliciously at the action, throwing his neck back as he did which put some distance between the two but really it was barely any. He stared down the sliver of space between them, which ended in their touching members, and all at once made a snap decision. He hooked his arms under Gon’s own plump ass and hoisted his lover up into the air. Gon could only giggle and wrap his legs around Killua’s narrow waist as he was carried off to their bedroom.

“Impatient, are we?” He teased 

“Shut up.” Killua snapped, which only earned more giggling

In retaliation Killua chucked his lover unceremoniously onto the bed. Though it did nothing to wipe the used look off his stupid handsome face it did give the former assassin an opportunity to do away with his clothes. Something Gon watched with pleased lidded eyes instead of doing something useful, like taking off his own pants.

_I have to do everything around here._ Killua thought to himself as he pounced on the other man again. His hands worked the pants open while his mouth was busy attending to his boyfriend’s exposed chest.

“Killua,” Gon groaned as hard teeth chewed at his nipple, his calloused hands intwining in his soft white hair “What’s gotten into you?”

Killua knew what he meant. He wasn’t usually this forward when asking for sex. Usually opting for obvious, torturous teasing or increasingly unsubtle hinting until Gon got the message. Pinning his boyfriend against a wall and carrying him off to their bedroom wasn’t like him. But he couldn’t help it. That darkness from earlier was still eating away at him and he knew the only way to be rid of it was to burn it away like an infectious mold, and that was something only Gon could do for him. 

The former assassin lifted his boyfriend’s legs and slid off their garments. 

“Dunno.” He lied as he climbed into Gon’s lap and traced a vein on his erect penis with a gentle fingernail “But I do know what hasn’t gotten into me yet”

Gon chuckled, eyes alight with amusement and no hint of understanding for the forces he was toying with “That can be arranged.” 

He yanked Killua down and sealed their mouths together, smiling into the kiss. His hand wandered downward and squeezed playfully at the round flesh. His fingers tugged the globes apart but when he went to venture a finger inside the waiting entrance he suddenly stilled and Killua leaned back to take in the delightfully stunned expression on his lover’s face, an evil grin spreading across his own. From where his thumb rested against his shaft he could feel him growing even harder. 

“Killua…” Gon breathed 

Before he could finish that sentence Killua pushed him by his shoulders into his back, changing their position so he was now straddling him. He pressed down on Gon, pinning him gently to the mattress. 

“You planned this?” His boyfriend finally managed as Killua reached behind himself

“You don’t know what the past few days have been like for me.” He explained as his fingers wrapped around the base of the sleek black plug “I knew I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself.” He finished with a loud groan as he yanked the thing out swiftly. He tossed it aside casually, not caring where it ended up now that he finally had the real thing trapped underneath him.

Gon’s eyes were wide as dinner plates, his pupils so dilated with arousal the honey brown of his eyes was barely visible. He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to form words that wouldn’t come. Killua felt as if the darkness inside him was purring, seeing he man he loved so turned on. He’d be blissed outing his mind soon if Killua had anything to say about it. 

Gon reached up, trying to cup his boyfriend’s pale face but with his shoulders still pinned it was just out of reach. Killua just smiled at him. He positioned himself casually over Gon’s throbbing cock “Let’s not waste any time.” He decided 

Gon apparently didn’t realize just how serious he was being as his expression morphed from affection to shock as Killua slid down his dry shaft. The burn was worse than he’d expected without lube, and he found himself biting his lip to hold in a pained cry but it was worth it to hear Gon groan and tilt his head back in pleasure, his hand fisting in the sheets. There was absolutely nothing separating them. Killua was encasing his lover with tight heat more intense than he ever had before. That made the burning ache he felt worth it. Definitely. 

“Killua,” Gon groaned out, struggling to prop himself up in his elbows, his eyes flashing with concern “What are you doing? Doesn’t that hurt?” 

Killua felt his heart leap at his boyfriend’s concern but that wasn’t a reaction he could accept. Gon should only be feeling immense pleasure right now.

“No, it’s fine.” He lied and slid himself down another inch or so, which earned another wonderful groan from the man underneath him.

He would’ve kept going except that he found his hips held in place by two strong, calloused hands. Gon’s hands. Suddenly he was lifted up and off his partner’s dick. Both his face and asshole burning.

“Unless you expect me to believe dry fucking was part of your training regime as a kid I’m calling bullshit.” Gon told him firmly 

“Well… maybe it does a little.” Killua admitted, thought he couldn’t meet Gon’s eyes as he said it. “But it’s okay! I want to feel you there tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. Besides,” he added “Don’t you want to fuck me?”

Gon’s face went red “I…“

Killua didn’t give him the chance to finish, pressing on his shoulders again and trying to push him back into the mattress “So just don’t worry about it. Lean back, relax, and let me ride you into—“

“Killua.” Gon said softly but with enough weight to make Killua stop instantly “Just because you don’t mind being hurt dosen’t mean I don’t mind hurting you.” 

Killua’s heart seized. He leaned down and pressed heir lips together in a short, chaste, kiss. 

“I love you.” He murmured against his boyfriend’s soft lips “But right now I really need you to fuck my brains out. Make me forget there’s a world outside this bedroom. Got it?”

For a moment Gon didn’t say anything. He just stared at Killua as if he was trying to look into his soul. Then he leaned forward just enough to gently knock their foreheads together “Well in that case.” He said and suddenly the world spun violently around Killua as he found himself on his back, their positions from earlier reversed. “We’re going to do this my way.”


	2. Chapter 2

Killua listened to Gon hum in consideration as he shifted the various objects around their nightstand drawer. He could imagine the cute expression he was making even is he couldn’t see it with the blindfold. It excited him to not know what was coming. Though, of course, he wouldn’t mind getting to stare at the muscular, tanned body he’d been craving for days now.

“Put your hands up. I’m going to tie you to the headboard, okay?” Gon told him, and Killua did as he was bid

There was a metallic click as Gon fastened a pair of handcuffs to his wrists. The handcuffs they used were decidedly cheap, common ones. The kind a child might use to learn magic. For someone like Killua they were about as effective as restraints as tissue paper, and that was key to why either of them could enjoy using them. Killua wasn’t actually giving up control and Gon didn’t have to worry about doing something Killua wasn’t comfortable with. They both knew if Killua ever decided he didn’t want the “restraints” he’d simply break out of them. 

Gon settled his weight again on Killua’s chest. His hands lightly tracing Killua’s body. 

“Hmmm. What should I do first?” He pondered aloud “So many options. There’s this.” He thumbed at his bottom lip “Or these.” Feather light fingers traced his nipples “Maybe even these.” Strong hands gripped his thighs as Gon repositioned himself between Killua’s invitingly open legs. 

“Then of course there’s this.” He adds casually as he unexpectedly hooks his arm under pale thighs and lifts Killua’s entire lower body into the air, drawing a gasp of surprise from the former assassin. His body is entire body is easily folded in half, all so his lover can have a better view at his prize. “Aw, it’s so cute already stretched out like that.” 

“Please don’t talk about my asshole like that.” Killua felt himself going red under the blindfold 

Gon retaliated by pressing a hot, open mouth kiss to the sore entrance, making Killua gasp in pleasure again. One thing they had quickly learned when they started dating was that while Killua’s training made his body practically immune to pain it had no idea how to respond to pleasure. And the blindfold only made his already embarrassing sensitivity worse. 

“I’ll talk about my property how I want, thank you.” Gon informed him pointedly “Besides, it’s true. It looks very inviting.”

“Your property huh?” Killua responded conversationally “By all means, make yourself at home.” 

“Well, sure, I could. But where’s the fun if I don’t make you earn it. When you’re given a five course meal, you don’t skip right to dessert.”

“Maybe you don’t.” Killua retorted 

Strong hands gripped his ankles and gently returned him to his original position. “That’s right. I don’t.” The familiar weight of Gon laid out on top of him settled on Killua. “So you can either get on board with that, or you can find another partner.” He whispered.

Killua swallowed around a suddenly dry mouth. He knew Gon was just talking dirty but the threat still felt like an ice cube sliding down his back. “No. No don’t do that.” He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice “I’ll be good.” 

For a minute Gon didn’t say anything and Killua couldn’t see his expression. It was terrifying to have no idea what was going through his boyfriend’s mind. Killua’s chest felt like his heart had picked a fight with his ribs and was winning. 

“Well, okay, as a treat.” Gon finally said softly as a bold finger slipped inside. 

Killua felt his body begin to unspool around the digit. It swished and twirled around as if giving a ballet recital inside him. He knew it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy him for long but that didn’t stop the low moan that rolled out of his mouth. He heard a soft snicker somewhere in the darkness.

“Now where is that…” Gon trailed off, his tone feigning ignorance as he kept up his teasing, purposely avoiding the little bundle of nerves several times and making Killua squirm beneath him. 

The albino had just barely opened his mouth to tell his boyfriend to get on with it when Gon took his chance and slammed into his prostate full force, drawing an unexpectedly loud (not to mention undignified) cry of pleasure mixed with surprise from his lips. 

“There?” Gon’s voice oozed with false innocence as he pressed down again “That’s it isn’t it? Is it there?” He prattled on, playing with his boyfriend’s sweet spot like an impatient child who won’t stop ringing the doorbell. Killua failed to keep the noises it facilitated inside him under control every time. 

“Gon! Cut it out!” He cried desperately.

“Aw, but you know how much I love those noises you make, Lua.” Gon complained. The pet name sent a shiver down Killua’s spine but if Gon noticed he didn’t say “I wonder if I…”

He added another finger and they came down together this time. Only they didn’t back up to prepare for another assault. They stayed there and kept up a steady stream of pressure. Which in turn sent a steady steam of pleasure to Killua, making him feel more electrified than any actual electricity had ever managed. There really was no hope of stalling the flow of erotic noises that tumbled freely from his mouth now.

“Music to my ears.” Gon whispered in his ear before busying his own mouth with sucking hickies and peppering kisses all across his pale body.

They kept up like that for a while, though Killua couldn’t be sure how long. Despite putting his attention into a new task, his pace never slowed. At some point a third finger was added. Killua’s body was on fire and the only distraction was the places where hard teeth sucked at his sensitive skin, making him. Occasionally Gon would pause his work to whisper encouragement and sweet nothings against his skin. The longer it went on, the more Killua’s body twisted in response. His toes curled, his back arched, his head thrown back. Gon used his other hand to press him down easily into the mattress, trying to force him still. 

Eventually Killua felt a familiar heat pooling in his stomach. Gon had been purposely avoiding his dick but a trade off for Killua’s sensitivity was how easy it was to take him to the brink. So when Gon wrapped his fingers around his base, the first time all night he’d touched his penis, and squeezed hard enough to cut him off, it wasn’t exactly a surprise. Though it did earn a whine from Killua all the same.

“Thought we might need this.” Gon said as Killua felt the familiar clamp of the cock ring he’d bought himself settle around his base. 

“G-Gon… please.” Killua panted “Quit screwing around. Put it in already!”

“You know you’re being awfully bossy for someone begging to get fucked. You’re like a bitch in heat or something.” Gon said conversationally as he slipped his fingers out of his boyfriend and using them to grip threateningly at his hip instead “If you’re that desperate to cum I could always shove a vibrator in you and call it a day. I could sit back and watch as it wrings you dry. Until you’re so spent you can’t produce even a single seed. And only then would I take my turn, fill you with my love juices, and rejuvenate you. Would you like that, Lua?” He pressed a feather light kiss under his ear.

A shiver racked through Killua’s body and he wasn’t sure if it was from arousal or fear or a combination of the two. For the first time all night he found himself straining against the handcuffs, though he stops himself from breaking them. He shook his head frantically.

“No?” Gon asked, as a gentle hand caressed his pale cheek 

Killua feels like he’s choking on all the words sticking to his throat. He opens and closes his mouth several times but nothing will come out. But Gon dosen’t move or say a word, patiently waiting for Killua to sort himself out. 

Finally, with a hard swallow, Killua manages “I need you, Gon. Not some cold toy. Not anyone else. No one else could satisfy me like you do. It has to be you.”

He can’t see his boyfriend’s face to gauge his reaction but soon after that he’s being kissed. Soft lips that move sweet and earnestly against his. “Do you have any idea how happy you make me when you say stuff like that?” 

Killua felt a heat spread across his face that had nothing to do with the physical exertion. “W-Well it’s true you know.” He managed, grateful to the blindfold shielding him from looking his boyfriend in the eye “I… I want to… Look can you just stick you dick in me before I say something really embarrassing?” 

Gon chuckled as his weight began to shift in compliance “You’re so weird Killua.” He complained

It was a comment he’d made a thousand times before but this time it made Killua feel ashamed. He turned his head into his arm. It was pretty much pointless to try and hide his face but he couldn’t help it. 

Then he felt a light, unexpected kiss to his nose that made him stutter in surprise “It’s okay. I know it’s hard for you to talk about these things.” 

Killua felt his body go stiff with indignation “Jerk. Don’t act like—“ he trailed off when he felt something tap against his lips. A something with a very distinctive, and familiar, shape. “Gon?”

“Mmm?”

“Is that your penis?”

“Indeed it is. You said you wanted—“

“Oh, you’re an idiot, Freeces!” Killua cut him off with an evil grin before lunging forward to swallow as much of his partner’s length as he could reach.

“Whoa! Holy crap!” Gon exclaimed. 

Killua heard a thunk above him as more hot flesh was forced into his mouth and could not assume he’d lost his balance and been forced to grab the wall for support. But that did nothing to deter Killua’s hungry mouth. He pressed forward until he felt his nose bury itself in thick coarse hair. Even that wasn’t enough as he stuck his tongue out and licked at the underside of his boyfriend’s sweaty balls, earning him a delicious moan from above. They were firm, full of seed and the former assassin was almost disappointed when he realized how easy this would be. Not enough to consider taking it easy on the poor bastard, but still. 

He used his tongue, his throat, his teeth. He bobbed his head and licked Gon’s balls and rammed the shaft to the back of his throat. His hands weren’t available to help but he made do. He might be the one in handcuffs but with his dick in his mouth like this, Gon was the real hostage here. Any attempt he made to set the pace or pull out was met with harsh teeth digging into his dick. The message was clear, he was not in charge here. 

Above him he heard his moans and gasps fall on his like raindrops. A warm hand clenched in his soft white hair. He thought of his irritating button pressing with his prostate earlier and decided this counted as revenge. There wasn’t much room in his mouth to allow a smile but he gave it a shot. 

Before long Gon tightened his grip on his hair and gave a labored “Ah! Killua!” Of warning before hot ropes strands of cum flooded his mouth and down his throat. Killua sucked Gon through it, not relenting in his pace until he’d gone flaccid in his mouth. 

“Jesus.” Gon panted as Killua finally relented his penis with a last, loving kiss “Man, I can’t decide if I never want you to do that again or I want you do to it again right now.”

He felt Gon wipe a thumb across his chin, cleaning off stray cum and saliva and pushing it back into his mouth, which Killua accepted with some light sucking on the digit.

“You know your mouth suddenly seems like a much more dangerous place all of a sudden.” Gon chides “You realize you’ve just delayed getting what you want, right?” 

“Maybe you should wear the ring then.” Killua retorted

“I seem to recall you bought that for yourself.” A cold finger skated around the rim of his sensitive cock along the ring, making Killua jump involuntarily. Gon chuckled “Poor thing. He’s crying.” A kiss was pressed to the organ’s erect head. 

“Ah! Gon!” Killua cried

The warm breath of Gon’s laughter ghosted across his sensitive skin and traveled up his chest to his blushing face. His boyfriend continued to kiss and tease his shaft, dragging his lips and teeth slowly across the flushed skin. The organ had been ignored and denied so long Killua twitched and whimpered at even the lightest attention. Something Gon found quite amusing, the bastard.

He hooked a finger between his swollen balls and lifted them up slowly “I have an idea.” He said with a grin Killua knew meant trouble even if he couldn’t see it. 

Killua jumped as he felt soft lips kiss against his scrotum. The mouth wandered downward, and when it t reached the perineum Gon’s true intentions became apparent. A yelp was ripped from Killua’s mouth as Gon’s bit down at the point right between his two most intimate spots. And then he was sucking at it like there was no tomorrow. Marking him in the most private place on his entire body. Where only the two of them would ever know it existed. Killua decided, in the split second between when he realized what was happening and when a fresh wave of moans started spilling out, that he liked this idea. A lot. 

Gon’s mouth finally unlatched with an awful suction noise. He’d done his word well and the mark he’d left wouldn’t fade for weeks. He gave it a kiss in pride. 

“Are you ready yet?” Killua asked in a low, dangerous tone

“Hmm?”

“Don’t play dumb, Gon. Are you back to full mast yet or not?”

A hard cylindrical object poked playfully at Killua’s erect shaft “And what if I—“

But he didn’t get the chance to finish as Killua wrapped his legs around him and used his own impressive core strength to hoist his hips into the air. lining his entrance up with Gon’s dick as best he could without looking. 

“Gon Freeces I swear to God if you keep me waiting another second I’m going to break out of these handcuffs, pin you down, and ride your dick until it fucking breaks!”

For a moment Gon did nothing and Killua very nearly did break the handcuffs. Then he felt two hands grip his hips in a way that would definitely leave bruises. And a low voice simply said “Killua.” 

And then it was all over.

Killua was being pounded deep into a mattress, hard dick slamming in and out of him at a furious pace, yet he felt like he was floating. He couldn’t recall details. There were teeth and hands and occasionally his whole body would be flipped around and forced into one position or the other. Once or twice his body would even tremble with pleasure as a dry orgasm racked through him. Encouragements tumbled from his mouth as easily as the moans he knew his lover enjoyed so. And he heard Gon’s praise washing over him, telling him how well he was doing and how amazing he looked. He couldn’t really recall any details. All he knew was that he felt incredible. 

When he came to, Gon was licking the last of his semen out of Killua’s raw asshole. 

What a gentleman. Killua thought with a snicker .

There was some shifting and then he was being kissed. The salty taste of cum on his lover’s tongue.

“Hey, Killua.” He said, sounding a bit out of breath. How long had they been at this again?

“Yeah?”

“You really look like you really need to cum.”

“Mm, do I?”

“Yeah.” There was a click and a rush or relief to Killua’s penis as the cock ring fell away “Would you like that, Killua?”

The former assassin smiled lazily, nuzzling into his boyfriend’s sweaty, muscular shoulder “I wouldn’t hate it.”

Gon kisses him while he jerks him off. Slow and lazy and content and warm. Killua unravels under his administrations in more ways then one. 

It’s the first time in over a day that Killua feels like he can really exhale. Like the darkness inside him has dissipated and Killua is left to feel supremely content in Gon’s arms. Beneath the blindfold, his eyelids start to feel heavy and he thinks he might fall asleep like this.

“ ‘Scuse me. Let me get that for you.” Gon says casually and Killua gasps when he feels a wet tongue lick at his chest. Lapping up the white puddle he’d just made.

He’s cleaning me . Killua thinks and something inside him crumbles. His chest restrict and there’s a sudden wetness on his face. 

“Hey.” The blindfold is removed and Killua has his first look at Gon since they started. His hair is disheveled and fall in his face, his lips are kiss swollen, and a layer of sweat gives a sheen to his bronze skin. But the look of concern and gentleness in his eyes as he cups Killua’s cheek and asks if he’s alright is what pushes Killua over the edge. 

There’s a snap in the air as he breaks his handcuffs. 

And then he’s sobbing into Gon’s chest. He can’t breath except in loud, heaping gasps. Snot is running down his nose and onto his boyfriend’s naked chest in the most unattractive way possible but he can’t possibly back away and only grips tighter to keep Gon from doing it himself. His hands trembling either from the effort or the built-up emotions he can’t hold back anymore, he can’t tell.

Gon hesitates for a short but painful moment. Then he starts rubbing warm circles on his boyfriend’s pale back. His fingers card through his sweaty hair as he tries to shush him. 

“I love you.” Killua sobs 

“I know.” Gon assures him “Killua, babe, please, I don’t understand what’s wrong. Is it… did I do something—“

“No!” Killua cries sharply “Oh, god, no Gon. You... I...” 

A tender hand cups his face. Gon’s beautiful brown eyes swim with concern and warmth. “I know it’s hard for you to talk about these things. But please. I don’t like seeing you upset.” 

It’s the strangest thing but with every sign of affection he shows Killua, it’s like he can feel his heart break a little more. He hides his face in Gon’s chest and manages a small nod. 

It takes a minute for Killua to find his voice and in the meantime Gon removes the remaining cuffs from his wrists and rearranged them so they were under the covers, trying to make Killua as warm and comfortable as possible. And then he rubbed slow, patient circles on his back. And waited.

“You know how the target was an assassin, right?” Killua began with a deep breath

“Yeah. Your specialty.”

“Well… I was tailing him and ended up eavesdropping on a conversation between him and some friends at a bar one night.” Killua explained “They were… gossiping, I guess. Word on the street is the Zoldyck heir is refusing to take over the family business. They say he’s had his head turned by some upencoming hunter.”

“Oh? He must be quite a catch.” Gon said with a half-hearted cheeky grin

Killua swallowed hard, not wanting to continue but forcing himself to anyway “Well, that’s just the thing. They were speculating about what kind of person could steal away the prized Zoldyck son and live to see another day.” Killua was glad his hands were hidden from Gon’s view behind his head because they were already starting to shake remembering what the men said next. “Actually they… they couldn’t decide if the hunter was a master manipulator or some sort of incubus given flesh.” Tears were starting to prick at his eyes 

“Oh, Killua.” Gon breathed

“Because why else would somebody willingly leave the wealth and power at the top of the assassination business. Surely he’s been led astray. And that’s not even...” Tears were flowing down his face again and the words started to stick in his throat. Gon wiped at his tears but his gentle action only made it worse “They made it sound like you were just using me. For money or status or power or whatever. It was like… It was like they couldn’t even imagine that you actually loved me.”

“I  do love you.”

“I know that!” Killua cried, louder than he meant to. He took a deep breath and scrubbed at his face “I know. I guess not everyone does, though.” 

“Would it make you feel better if we got married.” 

Killua froze, even if tears seemed to stop in surprise. Then all at once an all-to-familiar heat rushed his face “Idiot! Don’t propose something like that so casually!” 

“Why not?” Gon complained childishly “It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve thought about marrying you, Lua. Haven’t you thought about getting married? I’m sure you have.” 

Killua’s face felt like a wildfire “Sh-shut up!”

Gon’s face lit up like a kid in Christmas “You have! I knew it! Come on, Killua, we can pick up rings tomorrow and we could have it at Aunt Moro’s house and—“

“Gon!” Killua buried his burning face in his hands. An unbearable lightness in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know why AO3 isn’t showing it but there is going to be another chapter


End file.
